19; 4 October, 1979
Warded to Sirius.

I know all of us in the Order are talking about going to the ball anyway, and I'm going to be on duty for a while as an Auror (trainee), but.

Want to go with me anyway? Apparently guys like it when the bird takes the initiative and asks you out.

Also, I have the most brilliant idea for our costumes.


... are you okay? I mean, you've been distant since King's Cro Did James tell you? Is that why? I have to tell you something Fuck, how the hell do I tell you that I attacked James?

I can't do this anymore I don't care that he doesn't blame me, I blame me

UGH! He doesn't blame me. Why can't I just keep being lighthearted like I pretend to be and just let this pass? Oh, right, because he's your BEST FRIEND

I can't do this

WHY am I writing all this here?

End Ward.

Warded Private.

Fuck.

I need to tell someone.

Sirius, Lily, Remus, Peter, they'll all hate me, even if James doesn't.

Ro, Alex, and Will won't understand. Not to mention that I can't even tell them that James was there and fighting, since that would tip them off that he's a vigilante.

I can't tell Effie. Same reason, really.

But I SHOULD tell Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Peter. James is Sirius, Remus, and Peter's best friend, and Lily's husband. They deserve to know.

But I just can't bring myself to tell them.

End Ward.

Warded to Auror trainees.

If you're going crazy, do you KNOW you're going crazy, or does the fact that you're thinking and wondering about it mean that you're not actually going crazy?

End Ward.